HEIDI REBECCA CELESTE KRAAY
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 Notes: A Little Blog Page

grad school in march

2/21/2020

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a doorway
a fireplace
with notes inside

the moment panic started
a quake in my ribs
the salad bar closed
the drive ranting

up nightly hyperventilating 
assignments, the project, too much caffeine
heavy emotions absorbed from         love
nobody ever proved that cold hands mean warm heart

the chill of rain
a scattering 
tiny violets on the grass
in Philadelphia it's 80 degrees

bricks in the green room
​unveiled
eons caught             in the space between     cracks
permanent marker on my favorite pants
Picture
brick walls unveiled...Photo by Dave Webb on Unsplash
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Wickenburg, 2002

2/7/2020

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I notice that what I want to post here change cyclically, seasonally, as my interests do. Normally I'd post what we did in my last Drop-In Writing Workshop today, but now I'm feeling more satisfaction letting what takes place during those events happen ephemerally in that room at The Cabin. As I read through my old notebooks more quickly these days, fragments and raw rough writings are how I'd like to spend these pages at this time. I know that could and will likely change again in the future/ I'm getting better at listening to my curiosities as they shift,  instead of forcing myself to stay with one format or another because it's what I've been doing previously. 
Picture
Photo by Ernest Brillo on Unsplash

​the stucco
tall, wide, broad like desert
heavy, rough, dusty salmon

same as Arizona foothills
surrounding that strange acreage 
overwhelmed with lush grass

eat those boorish, massive walls
mouthfuls at a time
chew them up, grinding, smacking
swallow


inside i'm glass shards, rigid up/down
giant pane, expansive sliver
coated in spray paint

my chest a brittle wall
my shoulders, torso
on one side the loud mistakes

within that secret shames
hiding hurt hushed
on the other my face
​

​stage center
sliding glass doors
a place to escape
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    Heidi Kraay

    Process notes on a work in progress (me). This mostly contains raw rough content pulled out of practice notebooks. Occasional posts also invite you into the way I work, with intermittent notes on the hows and whys on the whats I make. Less often you may also find prompts and processes I've brought to workshops, as well as surveys that help me gather material for projects. Similar earlier posts from years ago can be found on:

    ​50 Shades of Kraay

    Thanks for reading!​

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