further/closer

Have you ever considered going into prostitution to get the next buck?
What it would be like to sell your body?
Have you ever held a sign?
Thought about writing sharpie on cardboard?
Have you ever thought with envy at the dancing sign holders
outside cell phone stores and tax commissions--
at least they have work?
I think as I walk past the homeless,
how quick to cross over that line.
How I've been there.
Not as long or as hard, but I know that side.
Climbing out of that nothing,
first I shielded myself 
walking past.

I can't afford empathy for you right now.
I've been there but I'm not there right now.
I can't give you a thing.
The man I was with when I was like you
used to give away anything we earned.
So we didn't eat.
So the bankers
the calls
the angry voices
after us
as he's making hand outs.
So no, 
I won't look at  you,
acknowledge you. 
​
I'm getting further from that point.
Never forget how close.
How close STDs, pregnancy scares, cancer, health collapse, car wreck.
Don't forget everything's possible.
Don't live on guard.
Be careful
and grateful,
be mindful
aware,
be generous,
know how little you make
how very little,
be willing to fight
to earn more.
Don't be dumb. 
Avoid thinking about money.
Try to stop.

Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Unsplash