Rhythm Questions

What is your working rhythm?
When do you do your best creative work? When do you hit a wall?
Where do you get your motivation? Inspiration? Hesitation?
Who do you model your work practice after?
Why do you stop when you do?
How do you begin? How do you keep going? How do you renew?

I've been thinking a lot about these questions lately, mostly because my internal rhythm and energy seems to be in a changing state. I don't think this is wrong or unfortunate, but am trying to notice the difference and run with it. Or walk. Stroll.

I need a strolling pace lately, in order to sustain. Instead of driving hard at every choice and task and job--even though that may be the only way to get it all done--I've been attempting more steadiness and taking more breaks. Because otherwise, I could drop. And I can't afford that right now, not until late May. 

So, I still write every day, but maybe I don't fill as many pages as usual.
And maybe it takes a little longer than a month to fill a notebook.
I still get assignments in on time, but maybe they're not early.
And maybe every email isn't perfect.
And some emails don't get sent.
And I slow my teaching pace.
And this post isn't perfect.
And it's okay.

Because I need to continue with this play, these classes, these workshops and planning, this homework and communication and production and fundraising, and if I worry about every single detail or try to push to the end of my last breath every day, I'll only make it harder on myself and harder for others to be around me. So instead, build a bridge to the next day. Leave a little in my reservoir so to continue on both feet.

I know momentum will build again. My eyes will open and my body will want to climb and conquer. I can relocate my relentless wellspring. But right now, I have to trust this stage in the process by waiting, and walking away, and making small steps in between breaks.

I need to listen to my body rhythm now and make friends with it. I could swim upstream, but for the moment, I need to go with the river.

This is my working rhythm now. What's yours? Photo Christian Joudrey