Speaking Up to Move Forward

One thing that takes some learning for me as a teaching artist, workshop leader and sometimes-director is how to step in boldly and say what I think, as though what I say is the right answer. I'm more interested in a collaborative process than a dictatorial one. There are several right answers. I'm always conscious of the truth that  others in the class or rehearsal will have as good or better of an idea as the one I propose.

But I've also noticed that I can take too much time hearing out every new opinion and perspective that arises in a classroom or rehearsal space. We can go around in circles that way, and forward movement comes to a standstill. Plus, often the same few voices pipe up again and again, which silences those in the room who really want to keep striving ahead instead of discussing every point.

This isn't news here, either for longtime teachers and directors out there or for anyone who's been part of a class, production process, or who's lived in the world. For me though, I have to keep reminding myself that the most generous thing can be to speak boldly from a leadership position in the name of what's best for the learning, the process, the work in front of us and the whole group. 

It's scary for me to speak up loudly for what I think is the best next choice. I spent most my life thinking I was wrong about everything. Much of my adult life I was unable to trust my own brain. I also know that this difficulty is worthwhile in the long and short run. 

This up-speaking is a learning that helps my writing and art-making as much as my teaching, leadership and general life skills. When I make a bold choice and stand by it in a play or some other piece of writing, people may react against it. Instead of buckling, that reaction is reason to step forward and stand up.
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I'm thinking right now of an upcoming play production that could experience some walk-outs and push-back. It's already stirred up opposition among some of the cast, which I didn't expect, for its political statements and departing from status quo. This is exciting to me, but also nerve-wracking. My task in that uncomfortable moment of pointed questioning after our first read-through was to avoid the impulse to be nice and change things to make the script more likable by the larger public and everyone in that room. 

Poster image from ME AND MY SHADOW, my last play that stirred a vocal, hostile, polarizing response. Since then I've been resistant (scared) to keep working on the play. I'm learning better ways to respond to opposition. Image by Jason Willford.

​Looking through theater and art history, some of my favorite works caused conflict, walkouts and polarizing responses in their audiences, or were outright hated at first. With this piece, I know the work is good, or at least that I love it and my director, production team (and much/all? of my cast now) is behind it.

​I'm interested in seeing what audiences think, but as a writer I'm starting to trust my instincts, make bold choices and speak up for what I need my play or piece to say and do. Yes I'm writing for an audience, but I'm not writing to entertain or placate, and I'm also writing for me.

These are good growing pains.