she wakes
lifts her head lies back down turns over arm on the empty bedside she looks at that space runs hand up and down pillow as if it were his face, back, front she lies back down the sun won't watch her with shyness anymore blinds her heats her sweats her from covers feet on floor, a little cool on wood, a little sore she's been walking again she still wanders not like she's been running or hiking or dancing hard just walking she breathes in and out in deep ways, trying to remove the added weight at sternum's center coax it away with air face at her feet she changes focus, up to the wall teal sea green wishing it were ocean wishing she were shark something large, monstrous, prehistoric she opens her mouth wide as though her teeth were too jagged/triangle/daunting to close down her jaw the thought of her face full of splintered teeth smiles her brings lips together after 9 and she's a shark in sweat pants, tee shirt, tattered, stained she doesn't look back to his side of the bed listens to morning summer breeze and traffic and with help from her hands on the mattress with an oomph she rises thinking how old lady she sounds shuffling to the kitchen the kettle filling looking out window garden out the backyard forever the maples, grass, sky wishing she were up there swinging from branches not running into walls fall down a rabbit hole inside out looking down and she's a vulture hungry that spells disaster but all she is here is slow grounded stagnant fingers aching heart ink over hands green beans and kale for breakfast
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$1, $10, $100, whatevs :) Heidi KraayProcess notes on a work in progress (me). This mostly contains raw rough content pulled out of practice notebooks. Occasional posts also invite you into the way I work, with intermittent notes on the hows and whys on the whats I make. Less often you may also find prompts and processes I've brought to workshops, as well as surveys that help me gather material for projects. Similar earlier posts from years ago can be found on: Archives
April 2024
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